A future message

Imagine you're in one of those time travel movies and you get a mysterious email from seven days in the future listing all the things you regret doing or not doing in the past seven days. And if you want to heighten the effect, imagine that the message is seven years in the future.

This email is divided into four categories:

1. Major regrets

2. Sorry for lack of courage

3. Moral regrets

4. Relationship regrets

Major regrets… If only I had done the work….

We experience major regrets when our health deteriorates, our financial situation makes life difficult, or our professional life is not as rewarding as we expected to be.

For example: "If only I drank less and maintained a disciplined diet, I wouldn't have so many health problems today." Or "If only I had worked hard in my twenties, I wouldn't be in this crappy job today."

Regrets for lack of courage: If only I had taken that risk.

For example: "If only I had asked this girl out."

Or "If only I had started this business."

Moral regrets: If only I had done the right thing.

For example: "I wish I hadn't bullied that kid at school."

Or "I wish I had been faithful to my wife."

Relationship regrets: If only I had reached out.

"If only I had contacted my friend before he died of cancer."

Or "If only I had apologized to my son and mended our relationship sooner."

NO-SORRY WEEKLY TEMPLATE

Now you have learned the four categories of regret, so try to predict how your future self (living seven days/years in the future) would do by completing the following sentences:

Major regrets (neglecting your health, professional growth, or finances):

• I wish I had taken care of my health this week with…

• I wish this week I had progressed in my career to…

• I wish I had increased my savings this week with…

Regrets for lack of courage (fear of taking emotional and social risks):

• I wish I had tried…

• I wish I had started…

• I wish I had asked…

Moral Regrets (do the right thing in difficult situations):

• I wish I had stayed loyal to…

• I wish I had been nicer to…

• I wish I had stood up for…

Relationship Regrets:

• I wish I had contacted…

• I wish I had forgiven. ..

Set up a recurring email to yourself every Sunday or Monday morning with the regret template shown above, and think about how you might finish each sentence if you just had a really bad week. Anticipating weekly regrets allows you to create a better week than you might otherwise have and prevent small regrets from turning into big regrets like divorce, bankruptcy, or diabetes.

Insights from The Power of Regret by Daniel Pink